When I came back from lunch today I opened Outlook to check my email. While I was away enjoying my Coke Zero® and Twix® (everyone knows that Wheaties® is the "breakfast of champions™," but few know that Coke Zero® and Twix® is the lunch of the runners-up) my inbox was overflowing with emails. I'm used to opening my decade-old Yahoo! account and finding it overrun with digital crap, but my work email is usually quite quiet. Our department only has four people, so I'm lucky if I get four emails a day. Something was up.
Someone in some far-off department accidentally sent an email to the wrong user group. A very large user group of which I am apparently a member. No sweat, that happens. However, it was followed by dozens of emails of two types. The first and most numerous type was the message that said, "What is this? This was sent to me by mistake. Please take me off the mailing list." The other, slightly smaller group's messages said, "Stop replying to all, people!" so, it seems the world is asking for yet another condescending lecture from yours truly.
Just about anyone who has used email knows that it is really easy to reply to a message. No mater how you access your email (through a client like Outlook, on the web like Gmail, with your fancy phone with apps, etc.) there is a button or menu—usually near the top of the window—for replying. In fact, it usually says "Reply." Just click on that and the email you compose will be addressed to the original sender, with the subject line filled in. Depending on your settings, the body of the email will either be blank or contain the original message at the bottom, indented or something like that. You add your comment and click on "Send" and you have successfully replied to the original sender. For long conversations, this can may be repeated several times, resulting in some long emails (a topic for another day) and a nice long thread of comments.
If you are conversing with just one person in this manner, it does not matter if you use "Reply" or the button that is usually right next to it: "Reply to All." When you are only conversing with one person both buttons will do the same thing. When someone sends an email to a group of people (a contact list, for example) the two buttons still serve the same function, but have drastically different consequences. If you "reply to all" then you are not just replying to the sender. You are also sending a copy to EVERYONE ELSE WHO HAS RECEIVED THE EMAIL. If this happens once, big deal. Everyone has one extra email to read and delete. Big whoop. But the Repliers-to-All run in packs. So, this process gets repeated. Now the not only are we all getting the reply, we are getting the replies of EVERYONE who got the replies and, usually, EVERYONE who responded to such replies. The number of replies bouncing around grows exponentially. And all those replies end up in EVERYONE'S inbox.
As if this weren't bad enough, it gets worse. There are people smart enough to know not to use the "Reply to All" button, yet they are still receiving this ever-growing mass of emails because they were on the original contact list. Some of these people—in a well-intentioned attempt to stop the madness—start replying with the message, "Do not reply to all." And how to they reply? By replying to all because that is the only way to reach all of the Repliers-to-All. This is like adding wood to the fire. Now, people start replying to the "don't reply to all" emails in the same manner as the first email, and the madness spreads even further.
So, it comes down to this. The "Reply to All" button is EVIL. Let me repeat that: it is EVIL, like Hitler, Emmanuel Lewis and the CW. DO NOT USE IT. Pretend it isn't there. It's not the same as "Reply." Forget you ever knew about "Reply to All." Yes, there are legitimate uses for "Reply to All," but most people never encounter them.
When it becomes obvious that the "Reply to All" disease is spreading, don't intervene. However well meaning you may be, you are just going to add to the problem. Delete the offending emails, shake your head in disgust, and rest assured in your technological superiority.
If you are one of the many faceless software developers who produce email products, remove "Reply to All" from the default list. Bury it in menus and sub-menus. I know that as a major software producer that you must be evil by nature, but give us a break here. The same goes to the IT guys. When you set up workstations, configure Outlook or whatever email program your company uses to hide the "Reply to All" button. Trust me, your network will thank you for it.
Most important of all, people need to THINK before replying to an email. Use your hat racks, people! Make sure you use "Reply to All" responsibly, like alcohol or Spandex®. I propose that all the Repliers-to-All have their email accounts closed, their internet privileges revoked, and be forced to watch Baby Einstein® videos in the hopes that doing so will smarten them up a bit.
And so ends another all-too-wordy diatribe. DO NOT forward this to everyone in your contact list. That would defeat the purpose.
[Update: I came back to work today (three days later) to find my inbox filled AGAIN with reply-to-all responses to the original email, as well as additional "do not reply to all" responses. I was hoping this would flame out, but it might not. I may have to set up a filter to delete them all, or important emails might get buried in all this junk.]
[Another update: You can disable the "Reply to All" functionality from any email you send to a group with Outlook (although it only works if the recipient is also using Outlook) by doing this.]
[Yet another update: For all my rage against the "repliers-to-all" the entire fiasco could have been avoided entirely by the sender (without using the aforementioned Outlook fix). When sending to a group of people, put all their addresses in the BCC field. This way, they cannot "reply to all." That act alone will stop your replies from filling everyone's inbox like a pack of tribbles.]
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