Semi-useless Information Part 1 (Random Sagacity)

I will be turning thirty-three in a couple of weeks. Since I am staring down a third of a century I have been asking myself if I am as wise as knowledgeable as I ought to be at thirty-three. Sure, I am a member of Mensa, but that means I am intelligent, not knowledgeable. An intelligent person may never go to school. He will be bright and able to learn, and he will have a quick wit. But, without education and experience, he will never be knowledgeable.

So, I have been reviewing the list of things I know that probably ought to be known by a man of my age. So far, I'm not very impressed with the list, but I keep thinking of new things, so I'll probably keep adding them to the list as they come to me. My friends say I know a lot of useless information. I'll give them that. I have amassed quite the storehouse of trivia in my hat rack. I know things like the capital of Mongolia (Ulaanbaatar) and the 314th digit of π (six). But what I'm hoping is that some of it isn't truly useless or trivial, but at least sort of practical, Therefore, I share this list with you now, that you may bask in my sagacity: In no particular order:

• There are TWO servings in a package of ramen noodles
• ALWAYS get the good windshield wipers
• There are few absolutes and even fewer things that can truly be called "common sense"
• People don't want to know that they sound stupid, so don't correct them
• Parents know more than you think they do
• YOU know less
• Marijuana might make you feel good, but it makes you look stupid
• The same goes for alcohol
• The world does not revolve around me
• It doesn't revolve around you, either
• 40% of all sick days are on Monday or Friday
• Love that is not unconditional is not really love
• The more you multitask, the worse you are at it
• Lock up your bicycle before you leave it unattended
• Most car accidents happen within 20 miles of home
• Most people don't drive further than 20 miles from home
• That's a range of about 1257 square miles
• NEVER take the insurance when playing blackjack
• Squeezing the air out of a two-liter bottle of soda will help it keep its fizz longer
• Vice Presidents should be seen, not heard (and should NEVER be asked to spell)
• Whether you call them "French fries," "freedom fries," "chips," or "pomme frites," they taste best when smothered in cheese curds and gravy
• The biggest obstacle to realizing my dreams is myself
• The next biggest obstacle is reality
• If you get your wife mad enough, she won't even let you give up and give her what she wants
• So, you might as well give it to her in the first place
• "The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
• God doesn't want us only to call on Him when we are troubled—but He still wants us to call on Him when we are troubled
• Most people like to think of themselves as the shepherd when in reality they are the sheep
• You CAN give blood if you've recently taken Aspirin
• You CANNOT use client-side image maps on MySpace because MySpace strips out the hash
• It's tough to argue with someone who's made up their mind and yours.
• Knowledge is informed prejudice. Learning will destroy previous prejudice only to replace it with a newer, less objectionable prejudice. One must be willing to let go of what he thinks he knows to acquire new knowledge, which itself is not so precious that it cannot be let go as well for a more valuable knowledge.
• A wise man is able to see the differece between his ideals and his actions; a brilliant man is able to reconcile that difference.

That's a good start, but I really think I've learned more than that in thirty-three years. I'm sure more will come to me.

Just a Thought

Remember when George Lucas made the Special Editions of the original Star Wars films? Lots of people thought that they were cool, but there was a certain segment of die hard purist Star Wars fans that thought altering the original films was sacrilege. Pay no mind to the fact that it was the very creator and mastermind of Star Wars himself making the changes that he wanted to make. No, Star Wars was what they thought it was and not even George Lucas could be found infallible if he tampered with their sacred canon.

Now, consider the following situation. Someone is letting you live rent free in a decent place. They are paying all of your utilities. Cable bill? Don't worry about it. Phone? No worries there either. Security? They've got you covered. The place is furnished and they let you come and go, any time you wish, day or night.

Now consider this. They own the place and your are there at their pleasure. Say they don't want to pay for the deluxe cable package any more. They're going to cut out Showtime to save a few bucks. The feng shui of the place is out of wack and they need to move the couch by the window and the TV closer to the cable jack. The phone is leaving the end table and getting mounted on the wall so you don't trip over the cord. It's all their stuff, so they can pretty much do what they want with it right?

You, however, have a fit. You liked the TV where it was. You liked the couch where it was. You don't want to get up to answer the phone. And how are you going to watch Californication now? So, you rant, you rave, you complain to all your friends. Who's the jerk here, freeloading you or your fickle benefactor?

Now, I know that Facebook has a reputation for moving everything around just when you get used to where they moved it the last time, but why do people complain when they do? Facebook is free and does so much for you. How else would you have discovered your love of pretend farming or your talent for virtual organized crime? How else would you have reconnected with that awkwardly shy guy that sat behind you in your high school trig class? How else would you find out that the girl who broke your heart fifteen years ago has now gotten fat? And who could you poke all day with impunity? No one asked you to take advantage of all this stuff that Facebook brings you and most of it is at no cost to you. Get over yourself, people. Much like George Lucas has every right to do whatever he wants with his films, Facebook pays for all of this and if they want to put your notifications in the other corner they should have the right to do so without 350 million people whining about it.

Here I am, getting all preachy and condescending again. My bad.

Give blood. Give life.

I have been lucky enough to have never required a blood transfusion. I've never known anyone that has either. However, nine out of ten of us will require one at some time in our lives. Sadly, only five percent of the eligible population donates blood. Off-year elections have higher turnouts than that.

For most of us, few things are simpler than donating blood. They ask you some weird questions, they prick your finger, they take your blood pressure, and you lie there for 10-20 minutes while your bag fills up. Sure, some people don't qualify, and some people are afraid of needles or the sight of blood. But, the majority of us are freely able to do something that requires little more effort than lying down. And, they give you juice and cookies when you're done.

Please consider participating in the next blood drive you encounter, or make a visit to your local blood center. One day you may be glad that someone else did.

Use Your Hat Racks! Part 1 (Cluless Googlers)

Check out the following article:

Facebook Login Fiasco Demonstrates Challenge in Competing with Google

This story reminds me of an experience from my past. I had a meeting with a small business owner who wanted to develop a web site for his business. In our discussion he asked what kind of work I had done in the past and I told him I could show him online. So, he opened Internet Explorer. Google was his home page. This isn't really shocking. Google is tremendously useful. I use it every day, even though my home page is My Yahoo. Google does many, MANY things you didn't even know could be done. I had no issue with Google being his home page. However, what happened next surprised me.

I gave him the URL of one of my web sites. He typed it in and off we went. BUT... he didn't type it into the address bar. He typed it into the GOOGLE SEARCH BAR. Up popped a list of search results and my web site was listed first. He clicked on that link and my page pulled up. I couldn't believe that he didn't know how to use the internet. But, I wrote it off to his age and overall lack of technical familiarity.

I'm not usually standing over someone's shoulder when they use the internet, so I had no idea that this was not just some isolated instance. No, according to the above article, many people believe that this is how the World Wide Web works; that first you go to Google, you search for the web site, and you click the link. It's as if people think the internet is the googlenet.

So, let me provide here a simple guide to using the World Wide Web, both how it was intended to be used, and most efficiently.

The internet is bigger than the World Wide Web. It is actually a global network of millions of computers sharing all sorts of data all the time. Some of that data is the World Wide Web that you experience through your web browser (ie Internet Explorer, Firefox, Safari, Chrome, etc.).

Your web browser allows you to access content on the web. I don't use Internet Explorer, and I suggest that you don't either, but if you want to, go right ahead. Your browser will have a "home page" that opens by default when you start it up. This page can be ANY PAGE YOU WANT. If you want your web-based email to be the first thing you check, you can make that your home page. If you frequently search for recipes online, you can make www.foodnetwork.com or www.allrecipes.com your home page. I hope you see where this is going. Even Google is perfectly acceptable.

To view a site other than your home page, you do one of two things. 1) If the next thing you want to see is a link on the page, just click it. You should be used to doing this already. 2) If you want to see some other web site, like maybe something you just saw on TV, JUST TYPE THE ADDRESS IN THE ADDRESS BAR AT THE TOP OF THE BROWSER WINDOW. You know, at the top where you see the "File Edit View Favorites Tools Help" menu. There you will find the word "Address" with a long box next to it that has the address of the page you are currently viewing. If you are having a hard time picturing this, it's the box with the long string of letters beginning with "http://". Delete those and type in the address of the site you want. If you want to go to www.facebook.com, click inside the box and type www.facebook.com. Hit enter on your keyboard, or click the -> arrow or the button that says "Go" or whatever is at the end of that box. Poof! Facebook comes up.

If you know the web site you are looking for DO NOT OPEN GOOGLE, DO NOT ENTER IT INTO THE GOOGLE SEARCH BAR, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200! Just enter it in the address bar at the top of the browser window.

Google is not the front door of the internet. Google is just a web site like any other. Think of it as a phone book. If you want to call Pizza Hut and you already know the phone number, you don't go looking for it in the yellow pages. You pick up the phone and dial the number. Google is the yellow pages. The address of the site (its URL) is the phone number. If you know the URL, just type it in the address bar and go. Going to Google every time is a waste of time for you, for Google, for everyone else that uses the internet. And it drives me batty! If you don't know where to find what you are looking for, that is when you open Google and search for it.

I'm sure all of you know all this already. But I just had to get it out of my system. Whew!